You Don't Have to Hold It All Alone

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I was looking for my usual Rider-Waite-Smith deck to do this reading but couldn’t find it for the life of me. (Usually, it ends up swimming in a tote bag somewhere, no luck this time.) So, casting my gaze around the house, I saw this copy of the Apparition Tarot by Mary Elizabeth Evans sitting on my bedside table. The card I’d drawn a week or so ago was sitting face up on the top of the deck: The Devil.

To have this card appear again (and after rigorous shuffling!) is very interesting to me. And, luckily, I have a lot to say about it since I’ve been working with it in my personal life for several weeks now. I’d originally drawn it in an attempt to gain some clarity in an emotionally murky situation, one that was requiring me to be much more vulnerable than I’m used to. I talk a lot about how cautionary tarot cards can be the most helpful, and this was absolutely one of those cases. The Devil gave me a priceless representation of exactly what I didn’t want: the usual defensive and avoidant patterns I use to protect myself from the dangers of connection. Unfortunately, in protecting myself from the dangers of connection, I’d also protected myself from the joys, growth, and healthy challenges that come with it. No good! I wasn’t about to walk down that path again. So, when I saw the sneaky signs that I was headed in that direction, I corrected my course. Which was why I was happy to have The Devil hanging out on my bedside table for weeks, bringing me back to myself.

Similarly, we see The Devil leading us into the week wanting to escape something and offering us its helpful warning signs. I can’t help but connect this card to our previous reading, seeing it as a continuation of that story. With that in mind, think of how the abundance, vulnerability, and even good fortune of last week may be threatening your sense of stability. It’s weird and twisted logic, isn’t it? That the things we want scare us the most. This is a time when we’ll be tempted to turn away from growth, good things, and situations that challenge us to stretch beyond our current capacities. But, like any helpful cautionary tale, we can use The Devil to help us notice when we’re turning back to the comfort of old, self-sabotaging habits instead of pushing into the wild, beautiful, and intimidating unknown.

Intimacy, connection, and reciprocity are being pushed to the forefront for us this week. The Six of Cups sees us being called into right relationship with ourselves, others, and the world around us. There may be challenging situations to work with as well as incredible tenderness and beauty. Showing up as yourself is the only way to ensure that your interactions and relationships are authentic. Pay special attention to the topic of help: how you ask for it, what you need, your baggage around it, and how you’re able to give it to others. We have a lot to learn from each other this week; see who’s present in your communities and practice showing up in similar ways, especially doing so consistently.

If anything, The Devil card shows us being easily seduced by oversimplification, distraction, and numbing behaviors. When charting your course, be mindful of the whirlpools you can get sucked into, while constantly readjusting your aim towards the real, messy, and intimate community space shown in the Six of Cups. Look for places and groups where you feel seen and uplifted, go there, and then be brave enough to ask for the help you need, even if you’re not quite sure how to articulate it just yet. There’s a special magic available this week that’s happening in collective spaces - sharing our joys and burdens here will bring about change and newness.

Difficult events or memories may surface at the end of the week via the Three of Swords. If we’ve done the work to bring ourselves into the Six of Cups we’ll likely find touching relief and support (and be able to give it to others). If not, well, things could be much more sticky. Yet it’s important to note that, while it’s undeniably a disturbing card that is about pain and suffering, the Three of Swords represents difficulty that can be channeled into something new. All threes in tarot touch on themes of creativity - if embraced (especially with those closed to us this week) and felt fearlessly, our feelings can become fuel for something new and beautiful, and that’s worth walking towards, not running away from. Especially when we have the support of The Six of Cups available to us.

I wanted to use this section to share two things.

Bad habits and pain pushing up the ways that we need to hold and be held.