Reframing the Search for Connection

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Last week’s reading was a tender one. We had the Five of Cups in the center, showing an experience of grief that needed immediate attention. That card, with its themes of loss and disappointment, calls for an honest experience of our emotions. Feeling through it brought us closer to ourselves, though the Page of Swords as our final card pointed to an urge to make a story out of an experience that’s not ready to be explicitly understood.

So, how did that go for all of you? Where did you notice yourself trying to make sense of a situation that wasn’t fully in the rearview?

This week we have two more court cards, denoting a big period of identity work. Pay attention to how your view of yourself has been evolving and which tactics are bringing you closer to a sense of authenticity. f we were to look at this reading as a continuation of last week, the sequence would be as follows: Page of Swords (seeking clarity) —> Knight of Cups (seeking connection and feeling) —> Page of Wands (seeking new action).

I’m heartened by this trajectory. It’s as if we’ve course-corrected after confronting the difficulties of the Page of Swords’ approach in the immediate aftermath of a tender and emotionally complicated situation. Notice where you’ve been working on letting go and embracing your full experience of grief, disappointment, and general tenderness. I’m seeing last week’s Page of Swords as an old defense mechanism or approach that’s no longer fitting in our lives. Pages are young, inexperienced - perhaps this was the revival of an old defense mechanism or reflex that quickly reveled itself to be ill-suited to the complexity of your current life. What ways of thinking have you outgrown? What desire to “make sense” no longer makes sense to you? Or, perhaps, doesn’t result in stories that fully fit your lived experience.

I’m saying all this because we return to the cups after our brief stint in the swords suit. The Five of Cups, like all fives, requires presence and integration. We have to walk towards challenges and accept that we’ll be changed because of them. That’s growth. Analysis and logic (swords) are classic ways of defending ourselves from the perceived threat of our emotions, especially grief. But we didn’t stay in the Page of Swords long; we’re back in the cups suit this week, and this time in the saddle of the knight. That’s an upgrade! Take a moment to congratulate yourself on your willingness to gently steer yourself back to your emotional truth after veering off course into the (very understandable) world of attempted control: explaining, making comforting stories, creating distance with logic and thinking.

The Knight of Cups is the ultimate dreamer/adventurer. They value a life that’s rich with meaning, beauty, and connection. This is what they’ll risk comfort and stability to find. What better character to navigate the path shown in the background of the Five of Cups? If you felt like you backtracked last week, moving away (shying away?) from something that matters deeply to you, fear not. That detour may have been a helpful reminder of what really matters. Treasure the moments you notice yourself feeling off-kilter; this is confirmation that your navigation system is working. You can always change course as you go. You’re learning to listen to yourself and your heart.

Speaking of which, The Knight of Cups is all about heart. Look at how the course set forth in this card continues through the entire week. The skies are blue all the way through. Not a cloud in the sky, unlike the burgeoning storm shown in the Page of Swords from last week. The emotional turmoil that may have characterized the past few days is subsiding. Follow your sense of emotional adventure and take up the reins; assuming responsibility for your desires and needs will help restore a sense of joy and potential. It’s likely there’s a sense of mobility that comes along with identifying your goals and needs - trust this and follow what feels good and what’s working.

Knights are romantic characters in the sense that they do risky things for lofty values. Embodying these cards can feel like taking a trust fall, especially with this knight since our culture has some mixed messaging around romance, passion, and beauty, to say the least. Yet we’re transitioning from this figure to the Page of Wands, an interesting downgrade in intensity. If you’re worried you’re getting into the clouds, being too dreamy, fear not. This step towards your desires is landing you in this plucky, practical page’s shoes.

Cups deal with emotion while wands deal with action. In the middle of the week the next step, the action you need to take, becomes clear. It’s small but potent - the start to a new journey. It’ll be alluring and exciting and very attainable. Take it.

A theme of relationships is winding its way through the past few weeks. At the end of the week we finally touch the beginnings of a connection that could hold something beautiful, important, and meaningful for us. I’m struck by the Two of Cups reflecting the two remaining cups from last week’s five. Not only are we identifying and working with what’s remaining so that we can move forward, but someone else is picking up a cup and offering it to us. We’re not alone, and while this card makes the beginning of a journey, one that may not pan out in the long term, it’s rooted in genuine compatibility and promise.

It’s worth noting that the Two of Cups marks a shift from solitary cards - questions of the self, identity, getting right with who we really are - to a social interaction. Court cards can sometimes be ham-fisted in their desire to act a certain way. We may need some time to adjust to the nuances and complications of interpersonal interactions. Be mindful of how your values, ideas, and principles change and are influenced by other people. This is lovely! Prioritizing strict adherence to ideas of what you want may take you away from something very delightful and very real right in front of you.